1st Time Mom vs. Experienced Mom : Insights + Reflections
Time to read 5 min
Time to read 5 min
We had the privilege of sitting down with two incredible moms, Ashley and Kelsie, to delve into their unique journeys of motherhood. Ashley, an experienced mom with two children aged 9 and 11, shared her wisdom, while Kelsie, a new mom with a 10-month-old son, provided fresh perspectives. Here's what we learned from these amazing mothers.
We also held a live to share these insights with you! Check it out below!
Ashley, with a touch of humor, admitted that it took her years to establish a self-care routine. She recalled how it took a back seat when her first child was born and became a distant memory with the arrival of her second child. However, as her children grew and became more independent, she rediscovered the importance of prioritizing self-care. Ashley emphasized that every mom, whether experienced or new, should make time for themselves, as it ultimately benefits their role as a parent, partner, and individual.
Kelsie emphasized the importance of having a partner who understands the need for "me-time." When both partners acknowledge its significance, they work together to ensure each person has the time and space for self-care. Kelsie also shared her practical approach, often indulging in self-care during her baby's bedtime.
Ashley was surprised at how quickly her instincts kicked in. She was really nervous about bringing her first baby home and thought she didn’t know how to take care of a baby. Obviously, there were things she needed to learn along the way, but, once she got home, it all seemed to fall into place and she just began taking care of him.
Kelsie agrees with Ashley that your instincts kick in and how quickly you start to learn the unique ways your baby expresses its needs. She also loved experiencing how when you pick up your baby when it is crying, it recognizes you as its parent and will start to calm down. She says it is such a good feeling.
For Kelsie, though, her biggest surprise was recovery from giving birth. Not many people talk about it. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a c-section, both have their unique needs and are difficult to heal from in their own ways.
Ashley always knew she wanted to have kids. Her first child wasn’t planned, but she is so glad it happened when it did.
Kelsie and her husband talked and were both in a place where they were personally ready for some kids. Kelsie stopped birth control and though she and her husband weren’t specifically trying to have a kid, they weren’t not trying either. She began to get worried when it was taking longer than expected to have a child. After about 8 months she was finally able to get pregnant.
Ashley knew she wanted a second child once her first child turned two years old. The timing just felt right. She also felt like it would be more manageable to have a baby since her first child was out of diapers and was a bit more independent.
Kelsie and her husband have talked about waiting two years before starting to try for their next child. Because it took a while to get pregnant the first go around, they feel like they need to be a bit more strategic with their family planning moving forward. She and her husband also feel like they will know when the timing is right, as for now, they are enjoying their little baby.
Ashley only has one brother. She liked having a small family growing up. When it came to Ashley’s kids, her first child was a boy and the second was a girl. She and her husband didn’t really come to a final decision on how many kids until her youngest was 5 years old. At that point, they just felt like their family was complete. Both she and her husband work a lot so having a smaller family is easier for them to manage. A plus was that they weren’t outnumbered either. They also didn’t feel like it would be fair to their current kids to have more kids because of the lifestyle they hold.
Ashley states that her relationship has changed a lot over the years - in fact, changes every day. As they get older, she tries to meet them where they are at, and adapt to better understand them. She says that it is important to pay attention to their needs and be flexible with your parenting style.
Kelsie’s baby is only 10 months old, so he gets a lot of attention. But, she reflects on how she was raised and what her parents did to build trust and have open communication in their household. Her parents let it be known that there wasn’t a topic that couldn’t be talked about and was always treated with importance and respect. This really helped because if she did have an issue or question, she knew her parents would help her out.
Ashley states that consistency and following through on consequences is the most important part of setting boundaries with your child. That way, when you set a boundary, the child is more likely to understand the weight of it and respect it. Kelsie agrees with Ashley. She said that growing up she always knew what to expect.
Both Ashley and Kelsie agree that there are so many parts of being a mom that are rewarding. Ashley loves how much they depend on you and include you in their lives. She talked about how her son had tryouts and called her up and told her all the details and how proud and excited he was of the day’s events. She loves hearing about their experiences as they learn to become adults and develop their interests. On the other side of that coin, Ashley quickly pipped up that being consistent and maintaining boundaries is the hardest part about being a mom. She hates being the bad guy in her children’s lives at times.
For Kelsie, with her son being so young, she and her husband are his entire world. She looks forward to the huge smile he puts on his face every morning when he wakes up and looks at her.
For Kelsie, it was difficult transitioning from not having any kids to having a baby. It is a lot of responsibility to have a little baby depending on you for everything and not having as much freedom. It takes a lot more planning to go out and to have a date night than it did before.
When Ashley went into labor with her daughter, she cried to her husband that she wouldn’t be able to love this baby as much as she loved her first. But, as soon as her baby was born, it was like her heart grew and she immediately had enough space to love them both.
Ashley continued that reality hit once she got home from the hospital and realized that she wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with her first child. Luckily, her firstborn is an amazing big brother and loves his sister with all of his heart.
Ashley and Kelsie provided valuable insights into the world of motherhood, showcasing the unique journey of an experienced mom and a new mom. Their stories remind us that, no matter where you are on this journey, every stage of motherhood is a beautiful, challenging, and rewarding experience.